a million little questions

Questions my kids have asked:

What’s the difference between poison and venom?

Why do we have toes?

Do cats fart?

If you were freefalling in the air, and got struck by lightning, would you be hurt?

Why does the hair on your arms stand up when you get cold?

Why do you start to like different kinds of food as you get older?

Why is it called learning about the birds and the bees when birds and bees have nothing to do with it?

What was the Cold War? What was the Berlin Wall and why was it built?

If you dig to the center of the earth, will there still be gravity?

Why do radio stations bleep the word God but not damn when the words are used together in songs?

When I grow up, can I have a ____________________ (insert any animal) for a pet?

What’s a mullet and what’s a headbanger and what’s a one-hit-wonder?

Yep – my kids like to challenge me. Sometimes I know the answers and sometimes I don’t – and sometimes I make up completely bogus, wacked-out answers just to make them laugh.

For example – We have toes so that when we are sitting on the couch eating ice cream, we can use our toes to change channels on the tv remote control that fell on the floor.

Or – If you dig to the center of the earth, you will find little miniature people living in a huge underground world and they secretly control the planet. You will also find all the toys and socks that you have ever lost. And yes, there will still be gravity.

It’s no wonder my kids think I’m warped – but it’s so much fun to watch their faces as they try to figure out if I’m being serious or not.

Now I have to go because my ice cream is melting and I have to practice my toe exercises for the day. (Channel up, channel up, channel down… channel down, channel down, channel up…. Mute on, mute off… mute on, mute off…)